NelsonGuerrero.com

It Holds True Once Again

Nelson — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 07:59:52 +0000

Things can and really do change in an instant. I mean, here I am thinking everything is good and looking brighter. The skies seem to have cleared and the sun was shining its beautiful, warm rays on me. Then suddenly, all of that is gone as soon as it appeared.

I just don’t get it. Why would someone want to spread lies about me to someone who has actually made my days fun and opened my eyes? The things that were said were hurtful and I can completely understand the reaction I got, but what did I do? I knew something was up, because I can always sense a different vibe from someone. I can tell when I’m not being told something. The part that frustrates me is that I don’t know who said this stuff. IF I had actually said those things to ANYONE, I would’ve been completely in the wrong. I never mentioned stuff like that to anyone, partly because of that person’s situation, but also partly because I respected and trusted this person, so I didn’t want to ruin anything between the two of us. Taking a chance and jeopardizing anything there, whether it be friendship or something more, is not something I’d do.

I’m typically a conservative person when it comes to taking risks, so I don’t know… I guess I’m just upset that this is the second time something of this nature has come up recently. This person tells me and assures me that everything is fine and they believe me, but deep down, I feel as if they’re just saying that to make me feel better. I feel as if it’s never going to be the same again. This person is the same as I am when it comes to trust… that being that you get 100% trust and that you can only lose it. I felt like I lost it even though I didn’t deserve to. I also feel like I lost this person. Things haven’t been the same ever since. It makes me sad.

So it holds true once again… things really do change in an instant…

Who Would’ve Guessed…

Nelson — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 23:20:13 +0000

… that things do really change in an instant? I mean, here I am, having probably one of the worst weeks this year and I don’t even know why. Things just weren’t going my way and I was feeling down. My driver side mirror was broken off my car, tests were popping out of nowhere, I got a parking ticket on campus, and to top it all off… I was broke.

That was 2 weeks ago. Last week was better, but still not up to par. I’d call it an “eh” week. Things weren’t going totally against me, but not everything was going according to plan.

There was an upside to all this though. The Saturday of the 1st week, I was notified by my Brother to attend a fundraiser in town, so I went. That’s the day that I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. That’s the day where I was guided by a person weilding a flashlight to help me through that dark tunnel I was in. Whenever I was down and lost, she popped in and turned her flashlight brighter. I smiled when I didn’t want to smile. I laughed when I was down. My days got brighter and she was my umbrella when that little rain cloud was following me around.

This past weekend, I had more fun and was genuinely happier than I’ve been in a long, long time.

Who would’ve guessed that this would happen out of nowhere…

Hurricane Ike

Nelson — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 04:33:46 +0000

I’ve been hearing from everyone in Houston that the rain wasn’t as much as a problem as the wind. I’m just glad to hear everyone’s doing okay. Things are replaceable, but lives are not.

The Blood, The Sweat, The Tears…

Nelson — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 05:54:46 +0000

Are you really committed to your cause? Do you bleed for what you are willing to die for, sweat for what you are willing to work hard for, and tear up for everything you have accomplished. There’s a difference between showing your emotions and just being emotional. It’s probably similar to the fine line between a crazy person and one who is a genius.

In a way, I’m trying to clear the smoke and figure out whether I’m just being lucky lately, or I’m actually being led into the right direction. I mean, I’ve pretty much been going the general direction, but I go on and off the trail a lot. Lately though, my luck has changed. Everything seems to be going my way. I just now have to work harder. It’s time for me to think about myself. I try to be as selfless as possible, but is everyone really going to be there for me 100% of the time? I don’t know… but I do know that I’ll be there regardless. So the choices I make from here on out will be the choices that are the best for me. I don’t usually pay a lot of attention to myself, but now it’s time. I will do this while at the same time, doing my best to not seem too selfish. If I don’t love myself, why would anyone else?

One Chapter is Closed… Time to Start Writing A New One…

Nelson — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 17:09:54 +0000

Pretty self explanatory. One chapter isn’t completely closed, but it seems that it’s closing, so before I even completely close that chapter out, I’m trying to begin a new one. It may not be the best way to handle it, but when it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, and feels like a duck… what the fuck… okay, so I didn’t really get that either, but hopefully you get my point. When it seems like something inevitable, then it probably is. It’s not giving up hope, it’s just being realistic. The new chapter, may be just a new starting point, so I’m not going to sweat it. I look forward to the challenges…

How Should I Feel…

Nelson — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 19:21:23 +0000

There are times when I just think. Think about how some people simply go against their own principles and do the total opposite of what they preach. Think about how people will give excuses that they deem okay, but then when faced with that excuse, they cry and complain. All of a sudden, it’s not “okay.” Karma really does bite you in the ass… so how should I feel? I say the “fuck it” attitude… let karma do its work.

I Just Can’t Pull Myself Away…

Nelson — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 08:55:25 +0000

Hello there. Now, in case you don’t know, I’m not the biggest fan of lyrics. It’s not that I don’t like them or anything, but when I’m listening to music, I love to listen to the music over anything else. Big surprise there, eh? There have always been a few exceptions and this song is one of them. It’s called “Closer” by Ne-Yo. I can relate to the lyrics to what I think in my head sometimes. So without further ado, here are the lyrics courtesy of MetroLyrics.com:

Closer

closer

closer

closer

Turn the lights off in this place
And she shines just like a star
And I swear I know her face
I just don`t know who you are
Turn the music up in here
I still hear her loud and clear
Like she`s right there in my ear
Telling me
that she wants to own me
To control me
Come closer
Come closer

And I just can`t pull myself away
Under Her Spell I can’t break
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
And I just can`t break myself no way
But I don`t want to escape
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop

I can feel her on my skin
I can taste her on my tongue
Shes the sweetest taste of sin
The more I get the more I want
She wants to own me…..
Come closer
She says “come closer”

And I just can`t pull myself away
Under Her Spell I can’t break
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
And I just can`t break myself no way
But I don`t want to escape
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop

(Come closer)
(Come closer)
(Come closer)
(Come closer)
(Come closer)
(Come closer)
(Come closer)

I just can`t stop nooooo
I just can`t stop nooooo
I just can`t stop nooooo
I just can`t stop nooooo

And I just can`t pull myself away
Under Her Spell I can’t break
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
And I just can`t break myself no way
But I don`t want to escape
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop

And I just can`t pull myself away
Under Her Spell I can’t break
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop

Finally…

Nelson — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 07:14:41 +0000

Are you serious!? It’s been a LONG time coming, but Sharpie finally has an actual pen! I know people, you know people, and let’s face it… one time or another we’ve all used a Sharpie… AS A PEN!!! I remember when they came out with the Fine Marker and that was the best Sharpie to use as a pen… even though on the packaging it said something like “this is not a pen.” Problem is, the darn thing would bleed through paper. It wrote damn well, and although I have a preference for ball point pens, I loved the Fine Tip Sharpie! I think I may go try out one of these new fandangled pens that won’t bleed through paper! To Sharpie I say, it’s about time you guys realized it was time to produce a pen! Finally…

When Things Don’t Go Your Way…

Nelson — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 09:28:34 +0000

I like being surrounded by people. The attention is what I love and just the whole “being around people” feeling. Other times, people just get on my nervers and I just want to get away. Right now, I want to be around people, but instead, it’s as if I wanted to get away.

It’s during this time when I realize who is actually going to be there for me several years from now. People always come and go, but there are a select few who I’ve actually maintained a steady friendship with. It’s those people who don’t give a fuck that I can be cool as fuck one minute, then throw a tantrum like a kid the next. I don’t consider it being bipolar or anything like that, but more of just being stubborn. I like to get my way. When I don’t get my way, I get pissed.

For those who truly know me, and for those who don’t… you’re about to get a crash course in Nelson 101. I’m a nice, laid back guy. It actually takes a lot to piss me off. There are several buttons that will make me snap like messing with my family or anyone I consider family. I hate being mad. I love to laugh and be goofy. I’m brutally honest. So much so that you might think I’m an ass. Many people do, but I don’t care, because they just can’t take the heat. I kid a lot. I’ll make jokes at your expense. I hate the fact that I worry too much sometimes and my mind starts to think about tons of scenarios. It can drive a person crazy! hahaha…

Anyway, writing this has helped me because in a way, I’ve learned that this blog is a friend. The friend that will let me vent any time of the day. When I wouldn’t dare to call anyone because it’s 4:30 in the morning, I’ll call on my blog. I feel better now… things are swinging back my way. God bless!

I’m Back…

Nelson — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 06:39:28 +0000

So… yeah… sleep is for those who are tired. Within the past week alone, I’ve been up for 38 hours and 42 hours. “Why?” you ask? I don’t know. Something weird I’ve discovered is that once you go past the initial 48 hours, you seem to get less tired. Weird isn’t it? Maybe it’s just me, but after being up for two entire days, I seem to feel as if I’m over the ‘hump.’ I’ve been up for 72 hours before and I swear I felt better when I was up then as opposed to when I stayed up 24-30 hours! Anyway, sleep deprivation is not supposed to be good for you, so I’m going to catch some Z’s.